written in a room of whispers

piercing whispers.
they manage to reach my ears
acidic words.
shoot out of tongues, ricochet off the walls of a small room
they do nothing but hone the weapon we are all armed with.
making ruffles out of lines,
jagged edges out of circles.

these vowels and consonants molded,
between teeth and tongue,
they penetrate through skin and bone
through Now and Then.

we are prisoners of war.
trapped between lines,
trapped only with this weapon to fidget with.

forever young

seems like you all are too busy to check in on blog to update. since i am blessed with a bit more amount of time, i am going to take advantage of it.
ira graduated today, and we had dinner with her friends and our extended family which consists of aunts and uncles that are all well over their 60s. and i learned a new thing about myself today: i do not want to age. i saw it so clean cut in front of me, the juxtaposition of youth and ... old, agedness, (i cannot think of a word that is of equal connotation to youth though it means the opposite) the two tables one with ira and friends, and the other. it was not the physical, visible effects of old (or non-youth) that made this juxtaposition so clear in contrast. it was the conversation they employed or the way they ate, or even the way they perceived every action... i don't want to spend hours talking about how to marinate my beef, or be observant of each flaw in the dishes that come out of kitchen, or point out the niece that did not give the water to the elder first (that niece was me). i may be generalizing all aged people with my own relatives, but now i am caught on the question of "how one can grow old well?"

4 day weekend

been awhile, ...
did you know that we've been having 4 day weekends because our school district cannot afford it?
i'm happy as a student, but wow we must be really short.

anyways, we recently washed our bedsheets, so mine smell lovely.
finals this week. its almost over....
i guess i'm just rambling on this post.. i randomized the playlist, and celine dion came on.
hmm lady gaga's new video? very explicit. its supposed to be about gay rights. i don't get it.

good morning

20piece chicken mcnuggets are sitting on my table. it's too late for them to be out, but it's tomorrow now, so i'm starting on a clean slate right?

i just want to appreciate, the amount of joy and growth i receive from reading all your posts. reading both your streams of consciousness, flowing like water, sometimes with more force and sometimes with hesitance, but nevertheless, i appreciate the truth. thank you.

now, i will resume my appointment with those deceivingly harmless bitesize chickens. good night.

tuesday rambles

i am a suffering hypersomniac.
it's almost inevitable for these eyelids to fall and cover my pupils
let's not call this sloth. let's glorify this image of being still for hours.
i have found so much in moments of nothingness.
all stimuli simply dwell in the air around me, waiting to drown me when i awake
it's amazing how we are aware of only a fraction of every little process that takes place in our periphery. just amazing.

i find myself enjoying too much of what i already have. yes, that sounds like a good thing, but i should be working for things that i don't always have so i have newfound joy. for instance, it's weird that i would much rather spend time with my sisters than my friends from school. i guess to reiterate it, i think i refuse to invest parts of me to better my friendships. and "invest" fits perfectly. just a thought in my head i wanted to share

fail

one of the many reminders that i am still in high school - that i am a mere fledgling, that i spend more than 6 hours with teenagers trying to find their own skin (which also applies to myself)- is words in "trend".
one commonly used now among highschoolers is "FAIL." this can often be used in a sentence like: "you FAIL at life" or a favorite phrase that incorporates this word is "epic fail" which doubles the irritation in my ears. the previous phrase that occupied many of our conversations before the advent of this f-word was "that's what she said."at least this reminded me of something so obvious and inherent in every generation of the youth , that we are still kids, curious about things that were so taboo before.
but this fail word. worries me. maybe i'm analyzing too much. but does everything for us bifurcate into pass or fail? are we so concerned about the standard way of evaluation? the number or the letter that generalizes so much, that overlooks too much? maybe this is me ventilating as a student, a student fairly diligent, a student that strives for the numbers that label me, set me above or below average, the 2400, the A, the 5, the 4.0