cant sleep

looks like this is the remedy

sleepless night
clings onto me with all its might
moments of darkness test my endurance
i give in and turn on a lamp
my eyes cringe in the sudden brightness
but slowly adapt to the once blinding light
silence hesitantly invites nostalgia to my door
and i let it wait, afraid of its power
afraid of its ability to awake my dormant weakness
the memories that i struggled to put to sleep
the memories that now refuse to be put to sleep
my neighbor's crying son nudges nostalgia to knock on
and i remain seated, afraid that she's so ready
prepared to witness my home reeking of tasteless novelties
and heaps of her stale remaining memories.
i am afraid to let her embrace me,
to let her allow me to indulge in the sweet past,
to let her peel each layer to reach my puny core.

fortunately, my pride is more vocal tonight
and warns me to keep the door locked.