break

hello. i am supposed to be writing a report on marxism. and women's movement. and Freudianism. they're all very interesting topics i would love to delve into on my own will, but since it is labeled as "schoolwork" i just dread it. and this is one way i avoid schoolwork.
i miss you guys dearly especially this week. i say we arrange a video meeting! what doya say??

going loco

stomach discomfort caused by an awkward el pollo loco dinner...
to add more details, i have witnessed the clash between man and woman.
with tortilla in my left hand i listened through a frustrating backtoback verbal conflict that i knew will not resolve. what happens if one presents a joke that offends the other? the offended should not keep quiet, should refuse to keep quiet, because even jokes have lines. joker did not understand ofcourse. and here we see a classic case of communication played at different levels.
food is meant to be consumed in a positive atmosphere.

you learn the most when pride dies a little
you learn to transcend past your hackneyed visions
now rusted with brown smudging your fingers
when you realize your hands are just hands
they cant hold cold water slipping through for long
we all need to die a little sometimes

confession

i deactivated my facebook account.
not that its crippling my goals of being productive.
half was driven by impulse, the other... haha i'm shamed to admit that
i am sick of looking at pictures of my own friends (aka: the family) entertaining themselves without me... ahhh that felt good.
so highschool, but so real of an issue.

happy valentines day

for those who are bitter call it commercialism but for me im just glad i can eat sweets with a reason behind it. i just came back from the movie "valentine's day" just another movie packed with countless characters that get tangled up with each other and somehow all find their partners at the end. but i do have to say, i take pleasure in these kinds of stories, because this is when my cynicism rests despite their implicit attempts to send so many messages i would love to rack up.
actually, i really loved this movie, (and i say this after at least 5 minutes of rerunning the whole plot in my head after typing the last statement) because it challenged so many stereotypical views of couples molded to fit the movie screen. i witnessed my own intolerance against some of these couples, especially when the cute little white boy got paired up with an indian girl... my eyes were so accustomed to cute little white boy and cute little white girl that when i saw this pair, i felt something missing. wow, and now i'm wanting to put the industry at fault, for showing me postcards of little white couples kissing holding roses, for always pairing up barbie and ken, mulan and shane, fiona and shrek... noits me though. i've always paired me with a korean man. korean, then a god-fearing man. nahh. korean, goodlookin, maybe THEN a god-fearing man. yeah i need to do some rethinking, but happy valentines day to you all. you can learn so much from discomfort.

mmm

my house smells of curry (the korean kind of course) and i automatically think of some nice kimchi that's just sour enough to make me salivate...
what do you think is more important in a meal, the perfect rice or the perfect kimchi??? hmmm
yes its way too late for me to be hungry

storytime

did you see the clouds yesterday morning? giant cumulonimbus clouds were making their own set of mountains and gray, wispy ones were resting under them..
my aunt is back from korea, and that means weekly trips to los angeles are back on. (woohoo--sarcasm) but i appreciated the visit yesterday. my uncle and two of my oldest aunts were there, and all three of them probably sum up to the age of at least 200.
i was never attentive to their stories until yesterday...
how my aunts couldnt go to school before their younger brothers, how they don't even have their names on the family genealogy because of their inability to further the family line.
and then my uncle went on saying that men are just creatures of lies. and that we cannot trust them. and the first question to ask them when we are considering them as longterm partners is how much they own. this made me laugh a little. still, valuable lessons learned from elders right?

i miss you guys mucho, hope yalls have a good week

alright. i've been finding myself reminiscing on the summer i spent in korea.
i keep picturing the cemented streets occasionally marked by the tree roots too big to stay subservient to the heavy blocks. and my feet walking on them, i can feel them.
and i can smell the underground market. smells of red pepper seeds freshly ground that morning it makin me sneeze and sights of beheaded pigs that oddly look peaceful..
oh man i miss korea a little.

rambles

second day of another semester. so many goals made. and so many already broken. (like falling asleep in class! i just cant help it anymore).
i realized on sunday that i completely relied on going to a good school, studying hard in foreign relations, and working towards the UN without even thinking if it pleases Him. it pleases my parents even when im still in the process of planning towards my future. it keeps hitting me this week that i gotta ask the question.

oh and i HAVE TO SHARE this vid. its amazing

i'm just glad to realize everyday that i am a learning creature

i hope youre doing well and i'm praying for you