Sorry, a non-recoverable error has occurred.

considering that my last post was a rough draft to my personal statement, i can say everything's been exactly the same. read, reread, edit, reread.
but today, today is different. today is the day i submit everything online.
due 11:59 pm tonight.
the downside to everything being done online is that there is traffic.
in bold red letters, my screen has shown me "sorry, a non-recoverable error has occurred" and now i'm playing with thoughts induced my panic, quietly in my own mind.
been trying to refresh for about 2hours now. wish me luck that i'll finally get access to this application so i can get it over with.

thanks for all the help with my essay, it's been pretty well polished since you last saw it.

VERY rough draft of college essay #1

wrote it all on one day. I need feedback. I can write exactly 98 more words, but what do I need to write more? Keep in mind that this application goes to an organization that looks for students from low-income backgrounds. Oh and is it answering the prompt?

Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations.

My bare feet lean against the cold pedals. I plan on my next step as I ride the rhythm with the hi-hat. I decide to “come in fully” with the cymbal and bass struck simultaneously. A premature beat develops along with the guitar and vocals. As a friend once observed, “drummer irene” resembles an octopus with its tentacles spreading to all corners of its body. Not the most attractive sight. And when my feet do touch the cold feet of the drum set every Friday and Saturday night, I remember the first time when they touched.
This is where I flashback to sixth grade and tell you about what I have been through. I can tell you that I have attended five different elementary schools in two different countries. I can tell you how hard it was adjusting to my environment as a 1.5 generation Korean American. I can tell you about the times when my family walked out of the grocery store leaving our full shopping cart at the cashier or how I never put that candy bar on the register because I know that deep furrowed forehead on my mom when she writes the check. I might want to soften your heart by recounting that morning when our car got taken away. And maybe, I can surprise you by saying that’s not the end of the story. I’m not here to tell you that I’m needy.
When I play drums, I’m singing out of slavery. I am slave to financial worries. I am slave to the thought that my parents abandoned me. I am captive to the role of a daughter and a younger sister to my older siblings. I am enslaved to the idea that my younger sister could not exercise her potentials because of the environment we are growing up in. When the snare strikes crisp against my ears I am reminded that time has no mercy. I need to keep the rhythm. I’m not going to tell you that despite these adversities, I endured. I am still climbing an obstacle, and I don’t enjoy it. But you see, I play drums.
When I first saw a drum set, it was not just a new instrument. It was a concept, an image so different from what I have been instilled with in Korea. It was not the black and white keys that could only be touched according to what my music sheets direct me to. My love for drums never ceased since then. My father tried to stop it. He did not comprehend women hitting objects with sticks and labeling it music. He could not stop me, and that is one of the pros of having parents overseas. Because of drums, I can sing out of slavery.
My friends still don’t know that when I punch in my ID number to buy lunch, I am charged zero dollars. They are unaware of the fact that I have taken my AP exams and SATs free of charge. I am thankful everyday when I walk onto my campus. I am amazed that I receive such quality education in a city like Irvine. And so when I finish playing drums at the end of each week, my heart is swollen with thanks. I know I am taken care of when it comes to money. I know my parents love me and torture themselves every night because they can’t be by our sides. I know I am blessed to have sisters who sacrifice so much for me to grow the right way. And I know my younger sister can do the same or more than I have done.
I want kids like me to find their “drums.” I don’t want them to dwell on their pity stories. I want them to take advantage of what is around them and if there isn’t an advantage near, I want to find it for them.
This Friday, you will find me at church sitting on the black stool with my feet against the pedals. I will look like an octopus with tentacles stretched to all corners. You will, however, know that I am singing out of slavery.

i've been typing words and deleting them, typing, deleting. for what? i'm just on here to speak out loud. school hasnt been hard on me yet. its just the constant thought of college apps waiting for my hands. ahhh, college. i'm so little.
but this is the one decision that i am making that'll really change my future. all ive been doing right now is putting them off for another time when i can think clearly, but i know i wont be thinking clearly for a while. COLLEGE!

weekend update

i kept myself in bed for 12 hours
... and i don't feel bad about it

i had a very satisfying friday at church
gooksu for dinner, my favorite.

i'm so happy i get to have a lazy saturday with the house to myself. its hard to be alone now adays.

emails please

zephyr i cant go to your blog put me on your reader list: irene_lee510@yahoo.com

and i need your emails so i can keep this to just you guys.

i was glad to read new posts
school started and i just got hit by a wave of academia. as always i'm trying to stand firm against the current . sounds cliche but so true