Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
to my father's mother.
sometimes i wonder,
if the little cracks in your teeth meant that you were sick.
I wonder
why you always sat and stared
listlessly between my eyes
why, sometimes you trapped yourself
behind walls and sounds and the endless shuffling of
the red painted cards
i wonder,
if you saw me as a child,
or just the daughter of a blood sucking leech son
i wonder,
if you couldve been
the one that told me words of wisdom
if you couldve been
the one that sweetened up my childhood with
sprinkled kisses and mumbled prayers.
But you were ill. and we all never saw it.
if the little cracks in your teeth meant that you were sick.
I wonder
why you always sat and stared
listlessly between my eyes
why, sometimes you trapped yourself
behind walls and sounds and the endless shuffling of
the red painted cards
i wonder,
if you saw me as a child,
or just the daughter of a blood sucking leech son
i wonder,
if you couldve been
the one that told me words of wisdom
if you couldve been
the one that sweetened up my childhood with
sprinkled kisses and mumbled prayers.
But you were ill. and we all never saw it.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tomorrow
13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”
James 13-15
The world makes me feel like I am very very important. Half my brainpower is spent on worrying about the future. What college will I go to? Where will I live? Will I be comfortable?
These questions, I feel, stem not from me but from the world. The world has given me a role to play. Whether it be a student, a sister, a friend, a Korean American, a Christian, there is a standard in which we do about things. And the pressure of having to meet that standard, to fulfill that role, not only brings us down, but also gives us the feeling of existence.
My challenge is, that I'll find my existence in God. I must constantly remind myself that I am merely a mist that will vanish. Yes, I have a hard time accepting that. God always makes me feel small, and no one wants to feel weak. But it's funny how He always comes with paradoxes. These moments, when I completely submit myself, are moments when I am most empowered. And I guess that's the answer to how we find existence in God. Finding strength through Him, having confidence in Him - this is how I can have peace in my heart. This is how I should really exist.
So tomorrow, I will wake up and tell Him: “If it is the Lord’s will, I will live and do this or that.”
James 13-15
The world makes me feel like I am very very important. Half my brainpower is spent on worrying about the future. What college will I go to? Where will I live? Will I be comfortable?
These questions, I feel, stem not from me but from the world. The world has given me a role to play. Whether it be a student, a sister, a friend, a Korean American, a Christian, there is a standard in which we do about things. And the pressure of having to meet that standard, to fulfill that role, not only brings us down, but also gives us the feeling of existence.
My challenge is, that I'll find my existence in God. I must constantly remind myself that I am merely a mist that will vanish. Yes, I have a hard time accepting that. God always makes me feel small, and no one wants to feel weak. But it's funny how He always comes with paradoxes. These moments, when I completely submit myself, are moments when I am most empowered. And I guess that's the answer to how we find existence in God. Finding strength through Him, having confidence in Him - this is how I can have peace in my heart. This is how I should really exist.
So tomorrow, I will wake up and tell Him: “If it is the Lord’s will, I will live and do this or that.”
Saturday, January 8, 2011
must watch!
ok maybe not a MUST watch, but i guess it's a good to watch.
the title is: "Never Let Me Go"
maybe you've seen it?
I first was very interested in it, because of my two favorite actors, carey mulligan and keira knightley. But as I got to know more of the plot and the original book, I couldn't help but to watch the trailer over and over again. It's a sci-fi movie, not so in a conventional way. dont think space and aliens and futuristic things. it's actually set in the mid 20th century. not only was there a powerful message, i just loved the cute child actors (oh child version of knightley is just.. don't know how to explain her). i realized the importance of casting child actors. they set the first impression of a character though they only last onscreen for maybe a third of the film at the most. anyway.. that's how i spent this saturday.
the title is: "Never Let Me Go"
maybe you've seen it?
I first was very interested in it, because of my two favorite actors, carey mulligan and keira knightley. But as I got to know more of the plot and the original book, I couldn't help but to watch the trailer over and over again. It's a sci-fi movie, not so in a conventional way. dont think space and aliens and futuristic things. it's actually set in the mid 20th century. not only was there a powerful message, i just loved the cute child actors (oh child version of knightley is just.. don't know how to explain her). i realized the importance of casting child actors. they set the first impression of a character though they only last onscreen for maybe a third of the film at the most. anyway.. that's how i spent this saturday.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
argg
I sat through an hour of korean artists (having a hard time typing that word) doing a show for a new year event. Is it because the only visible musicians are the ones butchering self-expression and originality? When I watch Korean music shows like these, I find myself sighing at the end of each song. Sighing out of pity, because I imagine what these young ( sooo young) people go through to obtain the fame. Sighing out of concern for the Korean culture.
Many of these "stars" get taken advantage of by their entertainment companies. They are often recruited before they turn 16, and are not given much compensation before their debut. I'd feel a little better if they at least got some money. Half of their songs are English words and phrases that are often taken out of context. Girls go up on that stage, lip-syncing, dancing, winking, and more winking. I was even more disappointed when I found out a band was even playing to a pre-recorded song. How do we break out of this cycle? Why is it so hard to find artists genuinely pursuing their passion? I am frustrated. This is what the Korean youth is inspired with.
I realized I am generalizing a LOT. I am in no place to say what's good and what's not especially when it comes to music.
this is what's good for ME right now:
Many of these "stars" get taken advantage of by their entertainment companies. They are often recruited before they turn 16, and are not given much compensation before their debut. I'd feel a little better if they at least got some money. Half of their songs are English words and phrases that are often taken out of context. Girls go up on that stage, lip-syncing, dancing, winking, and more winking. I was even more disappointed when I found out a band was even playing to a pre-recorded song. How do we break out of this cycle? Why is it so hard to find artists genuinely pursuing their passion? I am frustrated. This is what the Korean youth is inspired with.
I realized I am generalizing a LOT. I am in no place to say what's good and what's not especially when it comes to music.
this is what's good for ME right now:
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