good morning

20piece chicken mcnuggets are sitting on my table. it's too late for them to be out, but it's tomorrow now, so i'm starting on a clean slate right?

i just want to appreciate, the amount of joy and growth i receive from reading all your posts. reading both your streams of consciousness, flowing like water, sometimes with more force and sometimes with hesitance, but nevertheless, i appreciate the truth. thank you.

now, i will resume my appointment with those deceivingly harmless bitesize chickens. good night.

tuesday rambles

i am a suffering hypersomniac.
it's almost inevitable for these eyelids to fall and cover my pupils
let's not call this sloth. let's glorify this image of being still for hours.
i have found so much in moments of nothingness.
all stimuli simply dwell in the air around me, waiting to drown me when i awake
it's amazing how we are aware of only a fraction of every little process that takes place in our periphery. just amazing.

i find myself enjoying too much of what i already have. yes, that sounds like a good thing, but i should be working for things that i don't always have so i have newfound joy. for instance, it's weird that i would much rather spend time with my sisters than my friends from school. i guess to reiterate it, i think i refuse to invest parts of me to better my friendships. and "invest" fits perfectly. just a thought in my head i wanted to share

fail

one of the many reminders that i am still in high school - that i am a mere fledgling, that i spend more than 6 hours with teenagers trying to find their own skin (which also applies to myself)- is words in "trend".
one commonly used now among highschoolers is "FAIL." this can often be used in a sentence like: "you FAIL at life" or a favorite phrase that incorporates this word is "epic fail" which doubles the irritation in my ears. the previous phrase that occupied many of our conversations before the advent of this f-word was "that's what she said."at least this reminded me of something so obvious and inherent in every generation of the youth , that we are still kids, curious about things that were so taboo before.
but this fail word. worries me. maybe i'm analyzing too much. but does everything for us bifurcate into pass or fail? are we so concerned about the standard way of evaluation? the number or the letter that generalizes so much, that overlooks too much? maybe this is me ventilating as a student, a student fairly diligent, a student that strives for the numbers that label me, set me above or below average, the 2400, the A, the 5, the 4.0

may forth

it seems like my body is considering the idea of getting ill. that little ache in my throat when i swallow is signaling me to be cautious. uh oh. this is a very wrong time to let my body groan and whine. we'll see what it decides to do. wanna share something interesting:

That is their problem. They cannot live without religion, and they start out on the search for one when they are little girls. Each has the deep feminine passion for goodness, which makes the place where she stands in aspiration and agony the heart of the book - still and cloistered like a place of worship, but that she no longer knows to whom to pray. In learning they seek their goal; in the ordinary tasks of womanhood; in the wider service of their kind. They do not find what they seek, and we cannot wonder.
written in 1919

OH and HAPPY STAR WARS DAY!
MAY the FOURTH be with you!