QT

Exodus 31:1-6
"And I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability, and knowledge in all kinds of crafts [...] to make everything I have commanded you."

My first reaction: Thank you God! Praise the Lord, I needed this.
My second thought: "to make everything I have commanded you"? ... What do you want me to make? Damn it.

And, yes, I need to go out and make disciples of all nations. yes, You have commanded me to love. But you see, what I need, is something more specific. Like, "Irene, go out there and study this, and go here, and do this, and make this much money, marry this man, and blah blah." What I want, is a road map that would just tell me where I'm going.

I'm human. I need to be assured that I'm going somewhere. People nowadays can't get to a grocery store without letting their GPSs tell them to turn left. I need to know that I WILL have money in my hands, that I will get into some school, that at the same time, I'm walking with God and doing what He commanded me to do.

I'm human. I need visual assurance, tangible proof so I won't be nervous for a second, because my faith is so small, because I'm human.


I need a Golden Calf.
My Golden Calf can be college acceptance letters. It can be rebellious thoughts of being a cute 'badass'. It can be a boy. The point is, God's not gonna give me a Golden Calf.

I'm human, and my biggest struggle is resisting from taking off all my pretty ornaments for a Golden CAlf.