Not loneliness, because that word seems to place on the lone subject a sense of desperation, as if a lonely person naturally wants company. A lonely person does not love being alone. A lonely person cannot cope with the very inside of you speaking to you, rebuking you, and attempting to change you. A lonely person cannot handle the self versus self conflict, when you clashes with you on every account.
Aloneness, that's different.
Aloneness is simply neutral. Like right now, I am alone. I am comfortable with speaking with me, rebuking me, and letting it change me. Here I may be alone, but I am not lonely.
I didn't expect all of this time spent with Me to happen so soon. It must be the mindset of a college freshman - ready to tackle the world, to leave home, to learn how fragile our bones are - that invites self-altercation to the door. Well, I think it's here to stay.
No comments:
Post a Comment